|Nice Guys Don't Kill Women, Except When They Do
||[Dec. 17th, 2011|11:37 am]
Greetings Fellow Comstoks!
this story quotes people who end up in the latter category:I think it's telling how one responds when someone one cares about does something terrible. It's difficult to reconcile shocking behavior with one's loyalties, but there is a difference between struggling and denial. I think |
...while more details emerge about the frightening events leading up to the murderous roadside rampage carried out south of Calgary, friends of the killer, identified as Derek Jensen, are reeling from the shock.Grief and confusion is understandable, but the degree of refusal to acknowledge "that guy" becomes a bit much:
...“This is not the Derek we knew,” said Travis Fay of Lethbridge, who was close friends with Jensen for about seven years..."This is hard for us because Derek will be missed, but we feel so much grief for all those families, too,” said Fay, 20.
“So, tonight we are trying to enjoy and remember Derek for the guy he was and not how he went, because we don’t know that guy.”
“We feel so bad for all of them and their families but this is so shocking because there is no violence in his history and no signs this was coming,” said Darren Fry, also of Lethbridge...“He was the complete package,” said Fry. “He was very smart, with lots of potential, down to earth. He had school smarts, street smarts, was great with his hands, athletic, good looking. He was the rock in his family, had brothers and sisters he loved and his parents are wonderful people. And on top of that, he was the nicest guy...There has to be more to the story,” said Fry. “He was too smart and driven for this to have happened for no reason.”"Something else"? What is "something" they are refraining from blaming? Could that thing be female?
“It had to be a mix of booze and rage or something else that happened to him. But we may never know...There was no hint anything was wrong.”
Such an ardent description of this virtuous package of a nice guy makes one suspect they did know "that guy" and are retreating into mystification.
But there is some indication Jensen was harassing his ex-girlfriend throughout the night.Even the early reports I heard which had few details mentioned it was likely an abusive ex. It was far from unknowable.
Stepple’s friends told CTV News the young woman had broken up with Jensen months ago. Wednesday night, Jensen ran into his former girlfriend at Craswell’s birthday celebration and “lost it, lost his mind and pushed her out of a chair and he was like yelling,” friend Cait McFarland said.
“Then we left, he was phoning her, phoning her, phoning her and said to her, ‘This night’s not going to end well for you, I hope you know that.’ ”
Another friend told CTV that Jensen was a controlling boyfriend.
Fry and Fay appear to buy into the nice guy narrative - a smart, driven guy cannot also be capable of controlling rage and violence. Such behavior must result from an external force - i.e. a woman - because a nice guy isn't so inclined internally.
They are aware enough to restrain themselves in the media, but it leaks into every detached phrase and one wonders what they refused to acknowledge before.
Also, another case of guns making everything better.