|Oh god, enough.
||[Jan. 5th, 2015|02:14 pm]
Greetings Fellow Comstoks!
Oh shit, please tell me we aren't starting off this year with a bunch of stupid essays about how feminism is failing nerd boys. Particularly when it's some rich straight white dude whining about he doesn't feel privileged because he didn't get laid in high school or college and actually suggested shy nerd guys are somehow a uniquely disadvantaged class.|
I don't think feminism needs to accommodate a dude having the sads because he wasn't the popular sex machine he thinks everyone else was in his fantasy memory of youth. Worse he uses feminist literature as a pretext for blaming his own inability to handle rejection, indulging a paranoid fantasy which an actual smart person would be ashamed to voice:
Here’s the thing: I spent my formative years—basically, from the age of 12 until my mid-20s—feeling not “entitled,” not “privileged,” but terrified. I was terrified that one of my female classmates would somehow find out that I sexually desired her, and that the instant she did, I would be scorned, laughed at, called a creep and a weirdo, maybe even expelled from school or sent to prison. And furthermore, that the people who did these things to me would somehow be morally right to do them—even if I couldn’t understand how.Dude, if you get to your mid-20s buying into this woman blaming bullshit, you are either too stupid to be a professor or you are choosing to embrace ignorance to avoid responsibility for your own flaws.
Nerds do not own the experiences of painful rejection, social anxiety, feeling lonely, sexual frustration or even getting picked on. It's the human fucking condition and does not, unto itself, make one part of a disadvantaged group.
Then there's this bullshit:
I’m not even suggesting to equate the ~15 years of crippling, life-destroying anxiety I went through with the trauma of a sexual assault victim...But let me draw your attention to one difference: the number of academics who study problems like the one I had is approximately zero. There are no task forces devoted to it, no campus rallies in support of the sufferers, no therapists or activists to tell you that you’re not alone or it isn’t your fault. There are only therapists and activists to deliver the opposite message: that you are alone and it is your privileged, entitled, male fault.A nerd who is allegedly smart enough to process data should be able to notice just how much of culture is devoted to how people feel isolated and desperate. That there are a shit ton of support groups, studies, therapies and medical and natural remedies for those suffering acute social anxiety. Pretty much every issue of mainstream women's magazines have at least one article about how to find the courage to talk to potential mates.
Of course, many people struggling with this recognize it is their issue and up to them to resolve. Not something caused by their desired object having an agenda to punish them for even trying.
The billions of talk show hours spend on lonely people who can't make connections don't matter to this guy. He wants "campus rallies" for guys who are so afraid of rejection they won't even try, just sit in the corner and decide those crazy women will have them arrested if they do it wrong.
It's particularly galling to read this in the context of kids who kill themselves because they were raped, shamed by nude photos, sent to reprogramming for expressing gender preference, or repeatedly punished for infractions which didn't count for lighter skinned people.
Oppression can prevent one from getting laid when merely admitting desire has significant physical, life altering consequences, like getting kicked out of the house or labeled fair game for rape. It's not when a girl laughs in one's face when one asks her to prom, leaving one worried it might happen again, or when it seemed like everyone else was invited to the big make-out party, or when you equate getting consent for sex with the threat of being imprisoned for liking someone.
As for getting ill treatment for wearing glasses or liking math, one should be able to apply this context to how others get worse shit for their entire lives just for their own skin.
If one really is a nerd - and thus allegedly good at thinking - one should be able to grasp how privilege can be a separate issue from being treated unfairly. How solace for one's own lack of hot sex or friends shouldn't be a prerequisite for respecting the arguments of people who have nothing to do with that lack.